It was football season. School was in full swing. Work was busy.
It was the beginning of September when I noticed what felt like a low, constant tug of nervous energy taking up residence in my mind, heart, and body. Like a white noise machine that never turns off. Always humming, always on.
Although I was aware of it pulling at me, I was having trouble taking the time to stop, listen, and identify the source of my discontent. Like so many women, I keep a lot of plates spinning. Of course, the challenge of spinning plates is that they require an ever-watchful eye. And the fear becomes that a few stolen moments for quiet reflection may send the whole thing crashing down.
A few weeks later, as I was mindlessly scrolling through dozens of cute Homecoming photos in my social media feed, taking the time to carefully “like” them all, worrying that I may have missed one or two, it occurred to me that what I needed was one less plate in the air. And more than that, what I really wanted was for my world to get smaller…significantly smaller…by around a few hundred voices. That’s when I decided to take a 3 month break from my go-to social media platform.
For some people, turning off social media is as easy as turning off a light switch. For others (like the woman in my mirror), it’s a little bit harder. Afterall, so many of us use social media to schedule events and share our lives with one another. And, as it so happens, I love looking at cute Homecoming photos! I wondered, “if I step away from social media, will I be sacrificing something I can’t get back? Will the risk of less connection be worth the benefit of…well…less connection?”
Maybe this is a question you’ve asked yourself too. I imagine my desire for a smaller world isn’t all that uncommon for most women, and I suspect there are many who may never take a break from social media for fear of losing connection. Not that everyone has the same experience, but I wanted to share the outcome of my own little self-experiment in the hopes that it may encourage you in examining what you want out of your own relationship with social media.
As for me, temporarily deactivating my go-to social media account, gave me the opportunity to gain two wonderful gifts:
A quieter mind and a sharper focus.
Within 48 hours, I felt a significant downshift in the speed of my internal thoughts. Just the sheer amount of information I was no longer seeing/reading, thinking on, making judgements about was freeing. It was as if I gave my brain a cozy blanket and steamy cup of coffee. I noticed my own thoughts, my own feelings, my own breathing in a way that I was too distracted to notice before. It reminds me of a scene from the Social Dilemma, where one of the women interviewed was talking about asking teenagers to describe what it’s like to grow up with social media, and she said, “it’s like asking a fish what it’s like to be wet.” It’s hard to describe the impact of something on you when it’s all you know. And even though I didn’t grow up with social media, I had forgotten how quietly intentional my mind can be when it only belongs to God and me.
Once my mind was quieter, my focus became sharper. This second gift took a little longer to present itself. It really is stunning how many abrupt shifts our attention makes while scrolling through social media: happy, funny, angry, political, grieving, shocking, and it goes on and on. Without the constant shifting of my own internal responses to what I was now not scrolling through, I had more capacity to notice and respond to my own family. I felt more intentional about seeking out and talking to my friends at church. And, because most of my interactions with others were face-to-face in real time, I noticed a sharp decrease in that second guessing feeling we all get about whether what we communicate is landing the way we intended. I could literally see the impact of my words on the very small audience that received them. It was wonderful.
Three months later, I can say that for me the benefits outweighed the risk. Sure, I missed some aspects of social media that I’m glad to be connected to again, like keeping up with old friends, buying home décor from neighbors, and of course all the cute pictures of my friends’ kids. But I’m also so thankful to have a new appreciation for and caution around how quickly I can let my world get too big, and my focus get too hazy. With my self-imposed 15-minute time limit for daily social media use, I don’t see everything that’s posted anymore. And that’s one spinning plate I’m happy to let go.
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If you would like to talk to someone about how to decrease stress and increase peace in your own heart and mind, Madison Counseling would love to help connect you to a counselor. You can call/text us at 601-340-8022.