- STOP COMPARING YOUSELF TO OTHERS—You are individually unique and exceptional in YOUR way. If you compare yourself to others, you will foster separation and possibly an unhealthy view of yourself. Instead, what if we aim to grow connection and encouragement. What if, I celebrate my strengths AND yours? After all, like Oscar Wilde wrote “Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.”
- EMBRACE AND ACCEPT YOURSELF JUST AS YOU ARE—If we are to love and cherish others, we must learn to love and cherish ourselves. You don’t have to be perfect and have it all together to be accepted. In fact, most people prefer to be around those who are broken and authentic rather than fake.
- PRACTICE HEALTHY SELF-TALK—If you find yourself constantly thinking negative thoughts or self-loathing, try challenging these unhealthy cognitions with things you know to be true in your life. A thought such as “I’m not worthy of love because of how much I’ve failed” could be replaced with, “I am worthy of love and everyone fails because we are all imperfect people.” In challenging these thoughts, it helps bring about change in your thought processes which in turn shapes how you see yourself.
- TAKE TIME OUT TO SELF-CARE— Take inventory to see if your priorities in life are congruent with your actions. You can’t make changes in your life unless you are aware of what areas of your life need changing. By making changes in the areas that you are weak in, you can gain balance, clarity, and joy in your life which in turn helps your confidence and self-esteem. Where are your strengths and growth areas? Could you benefit to grow socially, emotionally, mentally, physically, practically, or spiritually?
- CHOOSE TO BE AROUND THOSE WHO ENCOURAGE AND BUILD YOU UP—We are all a product of the families we grow up in. Sometimes we receive healthy messages about ourselves that help shape positive self-esteem and confidence. However, others grow up in dysfunctional homes where they have been emotionally “beaten” down which has led to a distorted view of themselves. As an adult, you have the option to continue being around those that hurt you or break this cycle by being around those who will encourage and build you up.
If you are struggling with issues around self-esteem and confidence, please consider talking to a counselor to help you gain a new, positive view of yourself and your world. Visit our website at www.madisoncounseling.org or call/text 601-566-1083. We are happy to help!
Author- Anne Toles, LPC. Anne is the founder and co-owner of Madison Counseling where she works with adolescents, parents, couples and individuals. You can contact Anne by phone at 601-941-7171 or email at firstname.lastname@example.org.